Do you hang Christmas stockings for your cats? Of course you do. And Santa probably fills them all kinds of toys, treats, and special goodies. But have you ever asked your cat what he’s like dropped into his festive stocking? I have an idea about the kinds of answers they’d offer.
Here are the top ten gifts cats want in their Christmas stockings.
10. Ping-pong balls
A stocking can hold a lot of little ping-pong balls. Imagine the overwhelming awesomeness that’d happen once the stocking tipped and balls rolled everywhere! Cats would have no idea where to begin the fun … or they might hide under the bed, give the balls time to settle, and then return to the ball-a-palooza.
9. Contents of an office wastebasket
Office wastebaskets are cornucopias of cat treasures. Wadded-up paper, tape pieces, discarded pens, candy wrappers … the good times just never seem to end. Tip a wastebasket, pour it right into a cat’s stocking, and the holidays have arrived!
8. Rolls of toilet paper
Unless the stocking is huge, cats would have to settle for several partially-used rolls of toilet paper. Of course a cat would definitely prefer a huge stocking. C’mon kitty, let the good times roll!
7. Sliced meat
Any kind of meat would do: turkey, ham, salami, roast beast. They’d just want it packed to the top with the tasty slices. This is also the smelliest option, so Santa should probably stuff the stocking at the last possible moment. It wouldn’t be the best idea to leave a stocking filled with meat hanging all night long. Obviously.
6. Dirty socks
Cats love little more than to bury their noses in our dirty socks – the fresher the stink the better. Socks stuffed in a sock? Kind of mind-blowing, huh? Also, the title for “smelliest stocking stuffer” would probably be a dead heat between sliced meat and dirty socks.
5. Cheese in plastic wrappers
This is a double-layered goody. Not only does the cat get to enjoy the waxy goodness of cheese slices, they’d have to chew through the plastic to get to them. Heck yes they’d want a stocking full of cheap cheese!
4. Open bags of treats
A stocking full of open bags of treats? Woo hoo! It’d be just like Christmas morning! Oh, wait …
3. Loose catnip
A stocking packed to the gills with loose catnip would be a cat’s dream. The stocking itself would become a giant catnip toy-piñata combo. Kitty would go nuts and wake up three days later.
Sure, an entire stocking filled with gravy would be incredibly messy, but a cat wouldn’t care less. They’d stand under the stocking, open their mouths, and wait for the slow gravy drip. Thanks, Santa!
And the No. 1 gift cats want in their Christmas stocking is … drumroll, please!
1. Just the stocking
Yep. An empty stocking is plenty enough for a cat. They’d be all over – and inside – that business.