Top 10 Cat “Emergencies”

Here are the most serious issues that could affect your cats ... as prioritized by cats. (Toys rolling under sofa, lap-blocks, etc.)

We all know cats can be complete drama kings and queens. They’re highly attuned to what’s happening in their spaces, and are especially aware when their needs are and, more importantly, aren’t being met by we humans. When their needs go unmet, many felines automatically shift into “emergency” mode … well, “emergency” as far as a cat’s concerned.

So here we go — here are the top 10 cat “emergencies.” Poor babies.

10. “There’s a dingleberry stuck to my bottom!”
Sometimes a thorough bath just doesn’t adequately clean everything on a cat’s body, especially in the “backyard.” A stuck piece of poo can be maddening to a cat who’s trying to scoot it off their butt fur … and probably onto our carpet.

9. “I can’t get on your lap!”

Cats assume they can get whatever they want whever they want it, and that includes our lap space. Normally, we welcome our kitties onto our cozy laps; however, sometimes the situation isn’t right and cats don’t like to hear “sorry.” They must have lap.

8. “There’s a cat on the outside of the window!”

Certainly any cat on the outside of a window is an enemy, and indoor kitties must demonstrate their Code Red behavior, showing outdoor guy he’s extra tough and should not be crossed. Rawr.

7. “My toy went under the sofa!”
Oh, the plight of a cat who’s toy disappears under a piece of furniture. His paw’s ready to dial the old 911. Hey, a missing catnip banana is serious business – you better send backup.

6.  “There’s tape on my foot!”

This is truly chaotic – the kitty thinks he may never walk again! Despair! Sorrow!

5. “There’s another cat’s smell on your clothing!”
This obviously means the human loves the cat way less now, and is probably plotting to trade her in on a different model — probably the one with the smell. At the very least, the human has been spending unapproved time with another cat. Will the madness end?

4. “My meal is late!”

A cat begins alerting us of this particular emergency about half an hour prior to the official mealtime. The threat is real.

3. “My bowl is partially empty!”

How can a cat be expected to fully enjoy a meal when the bowl’s contents are incomplete?

2. “My bowl is completely empty!”

Now we’ve moved on to full-blown hysteria. An empty bowl means one thing: imminent starvation! This kind of emergency must be reported loudly to every human within earshot, even if the bowl was totally full sometime during the previous hour..

And the No. 1 cat “emergency” is … drumroll, please!

1. “The door is closed!”

A cat can lose his ever-loving mind if met with a closed door, especially one leading to the bathroom – especially if a human is inside the bathroom. This kind of emergency comes with paws that pound and slide underneath doors. And the frantic howls – let’s not forget the frantic howls. This is not a drill, people.

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