The Strange Items That Ferrets Stash, Part 2

Two more ferret owners give some final thoughts about the strange items found in their ferrets’ stash.

In part 1 of The Strange Items Ferrets Stash, people shared some pretty amazing stories of ferret theft. It’s my turn to share a story. What is the most outlandish thing my ferret has ever stashed? A baby ferret!

I brought home an 8-week-old female ferret that was quite tiny for her age. My older ferret, Pong, was completely fascinated with the adorable baby. I brought my camera out to get some snapshots of the new ferret. But when I pulled the camera up to my face and tried to locate my subject, she was gone! I quickly looked around and found her peeking out of the very camera bag that I had just taken my camera from. Strange, I thought.

I pulled her out and tried to take another picture. Before I could squeeze the shutter button, Pong appeared in the viewfinder, grabbed the baby ferret by her scruff, carried her off and shoved her in … the camera bag! No matter how many times I pulled her out to attempt to take the photos, he was insistent on kidnapping the confused kit. I got my photos alright, just not the ones I had planned on!

But the strange tales of ferret stashing aren’t done yet. What is the weirdest thing reported to have been found in a ferret’s stash? Drum roll please. Wait for it. Wait some more. The weirdest thing found in a ferret’s stash was … a breast implant.

Nurse and ferret owner Lesley Colton of Georgia shared the story. She works alongside plastic surgeons. She also is a collector of oddities and loves to adorn her home with them for conversation pieces. She brought home a silicone breast implant and placed it on the kitchen table to store. She believed even the most wily of ferrets would not be able to reach it there. However, she grossly underestimated her free-roam ferret, BART! and his counterpart, Loki.

After coming home from an overnight caving trip, Colton routinely checked on her ferrets. She reached in to retrieve BART! from his favorite sleeping spot in a closet. When she reached into that dark, hidey-place, she didn’t find a warm mound of fur but instead found a cold mound of goo.

“Immediately, my mind knew what my hand had found,” Colton said. “Unmistakable. A quick flash movie played through my head of what must have happened. Willie, the cat, jumped up on the dining room table and knocked off the empty cardboard box, providing a step ladder for BART! to climb up the chair and then onto the table to retrieve the Holy Grail of latex, squishy ferret prizes — the silicone breast implant!”

Trying to hold back her panic, Colton contacted a surgeon about the event. He told her that the highly slippery, nonpoisonous substance would pass quickly through the ferret’s short GI tract. “Glass-encased” turds started shortly thereafter. Colton said they were actually quite beautiful. The poo was totally surrounded by a crystal-clear capsule.
“I wish I would have taken a photo,” Colton said. “BART! suffered no harm, and we learned a strange lesson. Keep your boobs out of reach!”

Obviously there is no rhyme or reason to what a ferret chooses to stash. I will never tire of the answers I get when asking ferret owners what they have found in their ferrets’ stash. I’ve asked this question of owners for years. And to this day, I am astonished by the answers. Every day is like Christmas with a ferret. Every day you find hidden treasure troves of surprises limited only by a ferret’s imagination … which holds no limits.

Rebecca Stout resides in rural Tennessee with her husband, two sons and beloved pets. Ferrets have been in her heart and life for 30 years. She enjoys writing, photography, animals and being a strong advocate for her autistic son.

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Critters · Ferrets