If you show a young child a picture of an animal they’ve never seen before and ask them what it is, chances are they’re going to describe what they’re seeing. An elephant becomes that thing with a long nose and a tiger is a big, striped cat.
The Internet has taken that childlike notion a step further (or in some cases many, many steps further) and renamed animals with more, let’s say descriptive, names, which have been posted on social media with the hashtag #TheInternetNamesAnimals for our viewing pleasure. And yes, they are hilarious. Here are some of our favorites.
1. Wizard Cow
— Adam Wilkinson (@adam_wilkinson) June 23, 2016
He offers enlightenment on the mountaintop.
2. The Fuzzy-Bummed McClown Face
He’s the colorful one.
3. Forest-Dwelling Murderhorse
— Lance Criminal (@JarHeadJay_) June 22, 2016
He could kill you if he so desired. We’re guessing being trampled by an actual horse wouldn’t be much fun either.
4. Bent-Neck Desert Donkey
He’s also excellent at saving water.
— Tom Drinkall (@TomDrinkall) June 21, 2016
Well, that’s just wrong. And so, so right.
6. Arctic Hat Stand
Because where else are you going to put your hat in the winter?
7. Stabby-Butted Pollen Pusher
— Lauren Pacek (@laurenpacek) April 3, 2016
That name stings.
8. Sadeyes Von Gimmefood
We’re very familiar with this one.
9. The Majestic Sea Flap Flap
— DennisTheMenace (@Bagszxcvbnm) June 21, 2016
Seen only by a privileged few.
10. African Long-Necked Trample Pony
— cashmad (@cashmad) June 21, 2016
Their long necks allow them to see what to trample next.
11. Salty Jelly Rock
— Andrew Loviska (@AndrewLoviska) May 8, 2016
No other way to describe that one.
12. Fuzzy Meowtain
— CatMan (@CuddleYourCat) April 2, 2016
Reserved for the plump kitties who like to sit up.
13. Inflatable Swim Cactus
— Wrella (@wrella) March 25, 2016
You may not want to be holding on to this while swimming.
We’re not sure why this hashtag is trending, but we’re glad it is.