Please Don’t Go! How To Manage Separation Anxiety In Cats

If your cat panics whenever you leave the house, there are some tactics that will relieve your cat’s separation anxiety.

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Cats with separation anxiety may choose to hide. kaola251/iStock/Thinkstock
Rita Reimers

We all know that kids suffer from separation anxiety when their parents leave home without them. But did you know that cats also experience separation anxiety?

Picture this: You’re leaving for work, you grab your keys and head toward the door, all the while your cat is following closely, meowing loudly non-stop. At the end of the day, you come home to find your cat has left signs he is upset. The litter box is clean, but nothing else is …

Signs of Separation Anxiety in Cats

Some cats bond so closely with their humans that being left alone causes them great distress.

Your cat could be suffering from separation anxiety if he:

  • Uses excessive vocalization when you are leaving
  • Urinates outside the box or defecates on clothing or bedding while you’re gone
  • Begins scratching on doors or window frames when he is alone
  • Becomes anxious to the point of vomiting when you are away
  • Over-grooms or refuses to eat when you aren’t there
  • Greets you over-exuberantly when you return home

As the sensitive creatures they are, expressions of anxiety in cats happen in some subtle, and not so subtle, ways. It might feel as if your cat is punishing you for leaving, when in reality his behavior is meant to self-soothe and bring him comfort.

Why Cats Have Separation Issues

It’s not uncommon for cats orphaned as very young kittens, or who were weaned from their mothers much too soon, to develop separation issues and unusually strong attachments to their humans. Parting with their mothers at such a tender age may create lifelong feelings of abandonment. Many years ago, I had a kitty named Precious, who at the age of 4 weeks was found crying under a bush. She became very bonded to me, and she’d hide all day while I was at work. Even my pet sitter never saw her.

Cats who are not fully socialized may also exhibit signs of distress when their human leaves the house. If a cat has only been exposed to one or two people, then it is probable he will feel nervous while home alone without that person, especially if it’s for a prolonged period.

Likewise, a cat who has no stimulation at home, apart from interaction with his human, could also have problems separating. Kitty may be so bored and lonely that he feels stressed when home alone. I’ve conducted more than a few behavior sessions in places where you would never know a cat lived. No cat trees, no toys, no window perches equals no fun for a cat.

It’s important to note that health-related concerns could be the true cause for your cat’s actions, and not separation anxiety at all. A trip to your veterinarian to rule out a physical cause for your cat’s behavior would be a good first step in getting to the bottom of his actions.

Solutions For Feline Separation Anxiety

Once health issues have been ruled out and it’s apparent your cat is having problems separating from you, there are things you can do to make it easier for you both:

Behavior Modification

A cat experiencing separation issues is conditioned to become upset when he sees certain actions or items that tell him you are leaving. The idea is to desensitize your cat to these items and actions so they no longer have meaning to him. For example, pulling out your suitcases to pack for vacation or simply putting on your coat and pulling out your keys could trigger his anxiety. He knows you are about to exit the home when he sees these items. Try leaving your suitcase out at a time when you aren’t traveling. Pull out your keys a few times a day, but don’t go anywhere. Leave your jacket out for a few days. Soon these cues will lose their power and your cat won’t become quite so anxious to see them. When you do leave the house, make a point to distract your cat with some treats or a toy before quietly slipping out the door, without any long good-byes.

Environmental Stimulation

Organize your cat’s surroundings so he has fun things to do when he is alone. Add a cat tree so he can sit up high to view his world. Treat balls filled with his favorite snacks will keep him busy for hours, as will hiding goodies in several places around the house. Placing bird feeders by your cat’s favorite window perch will also keep him entertained. If he is an only cat, you might want to consider getting him a friend. He won’t even notice that you’re gone!

Music or Television

Leave some soft music playing or a television on low volume so your cat doesn’t feel like he is alone. Videos showing birds or colorful butterflies will keep him glued to the television for hours.

Exposure to Other People

If your cat isn’t used to anyone else being around but you, he could become fearful of others. Have a few friends come over from time to time, and let them offer your cat a favorite treat or toy. It might take a few repeated attempts before he is brave enough to come near, so be patient. Getting him used to other people will make him a less anxious cat overall, and will help him to accept other caregivers when you go away on vacations.

Anti-Anxiety Medication

In very extreme cases of separation anxiety, medication may be needed before your cat will respond to the above steps. If nothing you’ve tried so far has quelled his anxiety, talk with your veterinarian to determine the best course of action for you and your cat.

Helping your cat to become less upset when separated from you may take some work, but soon he will be a happy cat even when you are away. Of course, he will always be at his happiest when you are both at home and snuggling together.

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Article Categories:
Behavior and Training · Cats


  • I have 4 cats ranging in ages from 9-16 3 girls & 1 boy. I have had to leave twice in their lives for a week or longer. While my absence does not affect my girls it does however affect my boy to the point of not eating for so long that his kidneys start to shut down both times he has had to be hospitalized for a week or longer he is so attached to me that I am not able to go anywhere other than work without him getting sick. Any suggestions on how to cure this behavior? I’d really like to take a vacation away from home without having to admit him in the hospital when I get home

    lanore March 25, 2016 6:27 am Reply
    • to Lanore: Find a friend that will stay at you house while you are gone. This friend will have to be chosen by the Cat. . Female cats seem to be able to bond with each other and males do not. Male cats like dogs.

      to Kristin: Your husband will have to take the cat to work until the cat gets older and over his anxiety.
      OR get another young cat so the cats can bond and take care of each other. Your husband is the kittens mother.

      Koko Loewen March 26, 2016 11:43 am Reply
  • I have a male cat we found in a wood pile when he was about 3 weeks old. We took him home and bottle fed him for about a month. He is beyond attached to my husband. He has to be near him all day long. If he goes to use the restroom the cat will meow like he’s in pain to get in the bathroom, if he’s showering he will cry and scratch at the glass shower door until he opens the door. When my husband leaves the house, the cat will run straight to the front door and cry continually until he returns no matter how many times I try to comfort him. He will go to food bowl and eat food while crying only to vomit after. He vomits when he leaves I’m assuming from stress. At night he sucks and kneads on my husbands side of the covers, and always wants to be laying right against him, and it’s weird to watch how determined he is to be near him. I’ve tried everything but meds so I guess that’s our last hope.

    Kristin March 25, 2016 8:51 am Reply

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