Last weekend, police officers were called to Lancaster Township, Pennsylvania, after reports of a fire burning in the middle of a residential cul-de-sac. As the officers spoke with 31-year-old Jessica M. Lopez, who was allegedly responsible for turning the street into her own personal fire pit (no, really), Dennis Ishman decided that he would get involved, too.
According to PennLive, the 28-year-old man ran out of his house and started yelling obscenities at the officers. When he got bored with that — or after the officers chose to ignore him — Ishman went back inside and, according to the police report, was seen “agitating and then releasing a Pit Bull.”
That was his next brilliant plan: to send his dog outside to attack the officers. Fortunately for everyone involved, the dog was having none of it. Instead of biting, snarling or otherwise being aggressive, the cops said the Pit Bull was “found to be docile.” (That’s more than they could say for the owner).
Isherman was charged with simple assault, disorderly conduct and a dog law violation. The dog is probably working on a handwritten letter of apology.