The phrase “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch” reportedly dates back to the mid-1930s and, almost a century later, it’s still accurate. Because even though somebody might offer you a free bacon burger, there’s a good chance it’s just going to be a well-garnished wad of dog food. No, that’s not our own cynical worldview (although it’s close); it’s the takeaway from this very real, very cringe-worthy commercial for Freshpet brand dog food.
The demented ad wizards behind this stomach-churning three minutes decided that they’d get a wide range of demographics to sit at a sleek table, give them some fine cutlery and cloth napkins and then serve them dog food disguised as a bacon burger, as chicken tacos and as spaghetti and meatballs. And the hungry lunch crowd has no idea! (Except for the kids’ parents, who reportedly agreed to let their offspring eat the same stuff that they’ll feed Mr. Sniffles later).
The unsuspecting eaters not only have no idea that they’re eating something that will be sold beside chew toys and spray bottles of pet stain remover, but they actually seem to enjoy it. One precocious would-be foodie bats her eyes toward the camera and says, “It just gives you, like, that tropical taste” and then takes another bite of taco.
But when the big reveal happens — when they show everyone a package of what they just ate — most don’t seem to mind too much, which means either it’s good stuff or these folks are used to eating questionable food.
“We make our food specially for our dogs and cats with high quality, fresh, and all natural ingredients,” FreshPet wrote in the YouTube description. “Although it is harmless to try, we recommend sticking to human food!”
Not to worry, pal.