Let’s face it, cats clearly think they are classy — certainly much more refined and sophisticated than the lowbrow dog. Just look at the two vastly different styles of relieving oneself … a dog will happily do his business in front of the whole neighborhood; a cat, on the other hand, prefers the privacy of his own loo. However, throw some catnip at a feline, and you’ve turned a classy cat into a silly cat. Imagine the inner struggle your refined, not-impressed-meme-worthy cat must be going through whenever you roll out the catnip-filled fabric mouse or compressed ball of pure kitty silliness.
Thank goodness there is finally a get-happy product that allows cats to chillax while still retaining some dignity … their very own wine. B&H Lifes, a Japanese company, now offers just that with its line of “Nyan Nyan Nouveau” made for cats. (“Nyan, Nyan,” in case you didn’t know, is Japanese for “Meow, Meow.” But do cats in Japan really say “Nyan?” Going off of this YouTube video of Japanese cats, I’d say no, unless that is a cat on holiday in Japan.) Now you can let your cat unwind with a glass of wine. The wine doesn’t actually contain alcohol. Instead it will test the palate of most cats with ingredients like Vitamin C, Cabernet grape juice, with a touch of what else? Catnip. Only a thousand Nyan Nyan Nouveau’s are being produced, so at $4 a bottle, this soon-to-be rare vintage will be the must-have novelty item to uncork this holiday season.
If imbibing isn’t your up your cat’s alley, your feline might buy into the clever-cool image OmegaPaw’s “Meowtinis.” This is marketed as a “full-bodied cat treat made with delicate but delicious, white fish and is garnished green olives.” Love the cat on the package. Surely he must belong to the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World.” How can you not look at those green eyes and strangely strong chin and not have this phrase pop in your head; “He doesn’t always eat moist cat treats, but when he does, he eats Meowtinis.” And check out Cranberry Cabernet, also by OmegaPaw. Again, alcohol-free. Wouldn’t it be cool if your cat had this same distant, yearning for the bright lights of a cat cabaret stare after each bite?