Cat Slang: Thieving Cats

What do those conniving, shifty, thieving, adorable cats have to say for themselves?

Cats can be pretty sneaky, and are known to make off with items that do not belong to them. I know this is all part of the “curiosity” portion of a cat’s makeup; however, it can feel frustrating to the human or cat from whom the object – or inanimate object – is swiped.

My feline informant reported as usual, ready to hand over his cat slang terms in return for a generous serving of chicken-flavored treats. Speaking of sneaky felines, he has to be on the down-low when he delivers the weekly Fanglish to me because other cats would be none too pleased if they knew he was sharing their secret language. Not good! He puts a lot on the line in order to provide us humans with a peek into cats’ private communication. You know, they things they say to one another when we aren’t around. It’s a thing!

So this week’s Fanglish lesson is all about thievery. Are you behind closed doors? Are you ready for your top-secret lesson? Sure you are. Here are the latest and greatest cat-slang terms – take note, people!

Rest stop
Taking over humans’ pillows, interrupting their sleep.

The Lady was tired because, as usual, Patches had made several rest stops throughout the night.

Illegal possession
Stealing a toy from another cat.

Misty looked like she was having a really good time with the catnip cigar, so Oreo was jealous and became guilty of illegal possession.

Boxed out
Losing ownership of a box.

Percy pouted because Kitty Boo Boo boxed him out of his favorite UPS box.

Sticker shock
A cat’s panic, realizing a stolen sticker is stuck to his paw.

Maurice experienced intense sticker shock after he made off with a sheet of return address labels.

Food network
Two or more cats who, after gobbling their own food, move in on a slow-eating cat’s food dish.

Max tried to eat faster because she felt the food network closing in on her.

Waste removal
Taking items from a wastebasket.

LuLu and Peaches were experts at waste removal, and occasionally shared their treasures with the other cats in the house..

Open door policy

Cats’ insistance of leaving all household doors open so they can strip humans of their privacy .

Gigi’s open door policy meant The Lady never used the bathroom facilities alone.

A human’s confiscation of a stolen pen.

Snowball was hit with a penalty when The Lady found her with her brand new Sharpie.

Seat filler
A cat who occupies a human’s seat as soon as they vacate it, even briefly.

The Man went to the kitchen for a glass of lemonade, and returned to find Stripes had become a seat filler.

Treat oneself
Taking another cat’s treat.

Oreo devoured his treats, saw BooBoo still eating hers, and decided to treat himself.

I certainly hope you enjoyed this week’s thieving Fanglish post. Please join us again next week for a new list of terms. And remember … shhh!

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