Cat Slang: The Outside

"Getting hounded," "Lawn of the Dead" and "Outside chance." Indoor cats can't go outside but they can patrol the action out there.

Indoor cats certainly enjoy spending time in open windows, and there’s usually plenty for them to see, hear, smell and feel – not all of it is pleasing, of course. Naturally there are plenty of cat slang words and phrases kitties use to describe these outdoor happenings, and that’s the focus of this week’s cat slang lesson.

My feline informant is an indoor-outdoor cat, so he’s extra familiar with these top-secret terms from the Fanglish lexicon. As usual, he was right on schedule with our back-alley transaction. He passed me the list of this week’s slang, and I handed over a bag of chicken treats. He wanted to meet behind a dumpster this time because he thought a ginger tom named Maurice saw him carrying the list. He can’t be busted, you see. Fanglish is definitely a don’t-share-with-humans kind of language. He risks plenty, but his cat treat addiction keeps him going. And I don’t mind feeding the addiction because I think we humans need all the feine-related information we can get! I’m not ready to face feline world-domination – are you? I didn’t think so, so keep it on the down low.

On to this week’s cat slang!

Trunk show
Any activity happening on or around a tree.

Mitzy saw several squirrels run toward a tree and settled in for a trunk show.

Box whine
Whining when a cat sees a delivery person leave a box outside her house.

Popcorn watched the UPS driver drop two boxes near the front door, and box whined until The Lady came home and emptied them for her.

Feather radar
The sense that birds are gathering at a nearby feeder.

Burrito and Chalupa’s feather radar went off and they raced to the patio door to watch the action at the hanging feeder.

Monster truck
Any scary truck that drives by a cat’s house.

Peaches jumped when a red monster truck honked its horn as it passed her house.

The outsiders
Cats who are allowed to spend time outside.

Felix sat in the kitchen window and jealously watched the outsiders chase a chipmunk across the yard.

Outside influence
A human’s instructions to an indoor cat through a screened window.

The Man was sitting on the patio, and used his outside influence to tell Captain Cheese to jump off the counter.

Rain that blows through a window screen onto a cat.

Creamsicle woke from her nap in the windowsill when she felt the H-2-No.

Outside chance
The off chance a cat can dash outside while a door is open.

Milkshake saw an outside chance when The Lady carried groceries through the front door.

Lawn of the dead
The horror and intense loudness of lawn mower usage.

Porkchop saw the lawn mower and quickly hid under the bed, anticipating lawn of the dead.

Getting hounded
Being the subject of a barking dog who’s passing by on a walk.

Tiger was enjoying his window time until he began getting hounded by a passing beagle.

That’s it for now. Come back next week for another Fanglish lesson! Until then, keep all this business to yourselves!

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