Cat Slang: People Hobbies

Cats get vicarious thrills from our hobbies, from running-shoe-sniffing to book-sniffing to bathing suit ... sniffing.

Even we cat lovers have hobbies that have nothing to do with our beloved felines, although the kitties would prefer all their attention be directed their way. They definitely have some things to say about what we do “for fun” when we’re not making it all about them. My feline informant knows this is true, and was quick to offer up a selection of terms from the top-secret cat slang library. And, like always, I was happy to receive the bits that give us a closer look into the lives of the cats with whom we share our lives. This informant is extraordinarily predictable; however, this week he requested tuna treats in trade instead of usual chicken ones. He told me he was afraid his cat buddies were catching on to his Fanglish transactions with me. I totally get it – I’d be on my toes, too. No cat wants to be blackballed by the worldwide cat community for sharing secrets.

Mum’s the word – here’s this week’s cat slang lesson.

Surprise bouquet
A warm, sweaty, fragrant pair of running shoes that suddenly appears in the home.

Captain McWhiskers saw The Lady come in from running and felt excited when he smelled the surprise bouquet waiting for him in the foyer.

Golf catty
A cat who enjoys playing with golf balls.

The Man’s golfing trip was briefly postponed while he looked for the balls the golf catty had swatted under various pieces of furniture.

Suit up
Roll around on top of a swimming suit that’s fresh with chlorine from a pool.

Macaroni Joe and Pancake saw The Man remove his suit before stepping into the shower, and knew it was time to suit up.

The act of rubbing one’s face over every inch of a human’s book while she’s attempting to read.

After facebooking the open novel half a dozen times, Gilligan finally convinced The Lady to close her book and pet him.

Fancy paper ball
A piece of Origami art.

Mr. Stripes didn’t know what all the fuss was about regarding the fancy paper balls on the shelf – he still preferred the wadded up kind.

A human who removes a cat from blocking their movie-watching view.

The Lady always had to be a blockbuster on movie night because Maurice liked to clean himself in front of the TV screen.

Cat Butt Salutation
A yoga pose in which a human lifts her head and comes face-to-face with a cat’s butt.

The Lady came up from Downward Dog and went straight into Cat Butt Salutation.

No reservations
Complete confidence that stray bits of food will drop onto the kitchen floor while a human prepares a meal.

The Man started making a cheese and cracker plate, and Muffin stepped into the kitchen with no reservations.

Hobby stealer

Bird watcher.

The Lady, a blatant hobby stealer, grabbed her guidebook and tried to identify the bird perched on the feeder.

A scrapbook that’s filled with photos of a household cat.

Professor Whiskers found The Lady adding embarrassing photos of him to the me-moribilia, and decided to hide her glue stick.

That’s all for now, friends. Come back next week for a full serving of fresh cat-slang – that is, if my informant hasn’t been busted.

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