Cat Slang: Laundry Talk from Cats

Sock jock, Hamper the process, William Burrows -- your laundry-loving cats have a lot to say about wash day.

We humans love it when our drawers and closets are packed with clean laundry. It’s nice to not have to settle for that last-resort underwear or pull on those shorts with the about-to-rip butt seam. We aren’t the only ones who enjoy fresh laundry. In fact, I think cats probably get way more excited than we do when the telltale basket makes the scene.

In this week’s cat slang lesson, we have a fine “load” of laundry-related terms for you. These describe the cats’ “spin” on the whole shebang. Pay attention because there’s not a lot of “fluff” here, but if you have a question, I’m sure we can “iron” it out later. Come on, who isn’t amused by laundry humor?

The informant that slyly sneaks me these terms each week wants me to remind all of you that these terms are on the down low. Our cats can’t know we know anything about their secret language or they’d be “steamed,” for certain. Sorry about that last one. Well, not really. Not sorry.

Here’s your Fanglish!

Pillowcase Study
The exploration and examination of the inside of a pillowcase.

The Lady dumped a pile of clean sheets on the bed, and Mitzy immediately began her pillowcase study.

Laundry baskit
A cat who enjoys hanging out inside laundry baskets.

Choco loved when The Man did laundry because that cat was a well-known laundry baskit.

Lying on top of, and thus adding cat hair to, a stack of folded clothing or linens.

Roxanne saw the folded towels and knew it was time to fluff-n-fold.

Floor covering
A layer of dirty laundry covering a floor space.

The Lady’s teenage son was messy, so Buttons enjoyed sleeping on the floor covering that was always in his bedroom.

Wool-blanket absence without official leave.

Muffin panicked when she realized her favorite plaid blanket had gone AWO(O)L.

Tripping the light fantastic
Tripping a human, causing her to drop a basket of light-colored laundry, making it wonderfully fair game for a cat.

Patches saw The Man walk up the stairs with a laundry basket and felt like tripping the light fantastic.

Sock jock
A quick, athletic cat who steals socks and races away with them.

Bruno, a talented sock jock, eagerly watched as The Man began folding socks on the living room floor.

Hamper the process
Lying in a dirty-clothes hamper, preventing a human from washing the load.

Snowball may have been having the nap of her life, but The Lady felt she was totally hampering the process.

William Burrows
A cat named William, who enjoys burrowing under clean sheets and blankets.

The Man called the cats to dinner, and William Burrows crawled from under the fleece blanket on the sofa.

Cats who are sleeping so soundly that they must be carefully removed from a pile of clean clothing.

The Lady hated to remove the delicats from the pile of her clean underwear, but she she needed a pair.

Please join us again next week for a new list of terms. And remember … shhh!

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