We love our kitties, and there are many ways we interact with them. Some of the ways are welcomed by our feline friends and others … not so much. This week’s cat slang lesson includes terms that describe both types of interactions.
My feline informant brings me these cat slang selections each week, but he has two rules: I can’t let any cats know I’m privy to this underground language, and I must pay him for his services in chicken treats. I think that’s fair, don’t you? But you see, you aren’t cats, so I’m happy to share the lingo with you – as long as you keep it to yourselves, that is. I don’t want to get my little friend in trouble.
So here we go, friends – this week’s Fanglish cat slang lesson. Read it, put it in your mental vault, and then erase your browsing history. If you’re not willing to do that, please do not continue. I’m sure you understand.
Kissing a cat on the face more than one time.
?Monkey was irritated the first time The Lady leaned in to kiss his nose, but he jumped off her lap when then she started refacing.
A cat’s indecision to respond to a human’s request to join her.
The Man called Ponyboy into the bedroom, but the cat stood in the doorway, stuck with a pending invitation.
A cat’s discontent with having her belly scratched or rubbed.
When The Lady tried to rub Oprah’s belly, her hand was immediately met with tummy trouble.
The bliss a cat feels when a human scratches under his chin.
Mr. Boots could sit in The Man’s lap all day, as long as the Zen-chin continued to happen.
Pleasant rubs and scratches a human gives a cat after a meal.
Fuzzbutt’s favorite part of the day was the grub-n-rub that happened in the evening.
Eyes wide shut
A cat’s response to a human who is talking to her while she’s trying to sleep.
The Man told Belle how beautiful she was and asked if she wanted to play with the feather toy, but the cat answered with eyes wide shut.
The environment in which a human attempts to dress an angry, uncooperative cat.
The Lady tried to slide a sailor suit onto Gravy Train’s body, and the room turned into a garment hiss-trict.
Brush with fate
Jolly Roger saw The Man holding the deshedding tool, and knew he was in for a brush with fate.
A cat who enjoys snuggling with a human underneath blankets.
?It was a cold afternoon, so Kit Kat decided to become The Lady’s undercover lover.
An unwelcome song a human sings to a cat who is trying to sleep.
Meatloaf switched positions, hoping The Lady would stop singing the lullabye-bye and go into another room.
That’s it for now. Come back next week for another Fanglish lesson, and keep these top-secret terms to yourself!