We love our kitties, but we also have a love affair with our electronics. Our phones are usually within reach, our laptops are frequently popped open, and our cats are always nearby. It makes sense they’d have a collection of cat slang words that describe their relationships with our electronic devices.
My feline informant loves electronics, and sometimes asks if he can loaf on top of my warm laptop during his Fanglish delivery. I don’t blame him – I like to be warm, too. This week, the kitty brings us a fine list of top-secret phrases, and he wants to make sure we remember to read the Fanglish, commit it to memory, and then erase our browsing history. No good can come of our cats learning we know about their underground lingo. I once again assured him we can all be trusted, and then paid him the usual bag of chicken cat treats.
Are you ready? On to the Fanglish lesson!
A nap on top of an Apple product.
Sneaky Bob didn’t feel like jumping off the desk, so he loafed on top of The Lady’s MacBook Pro.
An exclamation a cat makes when he can’t catch the curser on the computer screen.
Fifi finally gave up after a half hour of pawing at the screen as The Man shopped on Amazon.com. Curses!
A human who removes a cat from blocking their movie-watching view.
The Lady always had to be a blockbuster on movie night because Maurice liked to clean himself in front of the TV screen.
A computer mouse that’s partially or completely covered by a cat.
The Man had to use his touchpad because Peaches had created a mousetrap.
The practice of hunting and stealing earbuds.
Applesauce was a longtime student of bud-ism, but still could not locate The Man’s fancy black earbuds.
A cat who oversees a human typing text messages.
Harold, a text editor, made a hobby of watching The Lady’s fingers fly while she exchanged messages with her best friend.
A cat walking across a TV remote control, changing channels and creating errors that take the human hours to correct .
Due to Snowball’s channeling, The Lady spent an hour on the phone with the cable company.
An iPhone a cat claims as his own by chewing on the rubber protective case.
Petunia spent an afternoon with myPhone, and The Man had to order a new case.
Bored and walking across a human’s computer keyboard.
The Lady didn’t respond to Maurice’s mews so be became keybored.
The act of turning one’s head quickly at precisely the moment a human presses the camera button to take a photograph of you.
Pickles showed The Lady she was tired of posing in the pink tutu by giving her a few spurn-and-turns until she put the camera away.
That’s it for now. Come back next week for another Fanglish lesson, and keep these top-secret terms to on the down low!