Cat Slang: Desks and Work Areas

Penterest, Paper shredder, Keystroking -- find out what's on cats' minds as they watch you work.

Those of us who sit at a desk or table and try to accomplish any sort of task know cats play a major role in our activities. They want to “help” us in a multitude of ways, including walking across our computer keyboards, pawing our pens and lying on top of important piles of paperwork. How could we complete any tasks without their guidance? I’ve lived with cats my entire life, and I still have no idea.

Speaking of cats and desks, they just happen to be cat slang subject for this week. The top-secret terms come to us humans from a leak in cat community-at-large who shares this lingo list in exchange for chicken treats. It’s a good deal if you ask me.

Are you ready for this week’s offering? Here 10 terms cats use with regard to their relationship with our desks and work areas.

Instant message
A cat’s plea for attention by walking across a human’s computer keyboard.

The Lady didn’t respond to Maurice’s mews so he gave her an instant message.

A cat’s love of pens and pen caps.

When The Lady opened her new pack of ballpoints, Snowball’s penterest was palpable.

A pen cap that’s batted around while a human sleeps at night.

The Man woke up at midnight because Patches was having a nightcap in his office.

Sticker shock
A cat’s panic, realizing a sticker is stuck to his paw.

Maurice experienced intense sticker shock when he walked across The Lady’s return address labels.

Paper chase
The batting and chasing of paper that was once on top of a desk.

The Lady couldn’t find her receipts because of Milkshake’s earlier paper chase.

Petting a cat who’s lying on top of a computer keyboard.

The Man couldn’t complete his monthly report because he spent an hour keystroking Pumpkin.

Writer’s block
A cat’s ability to block a human’s attempts at typing.

Murray walked across The Lady’s lap and rubbed his face all over her computer, giving her extreme writer’s block.

Tissue layer
A kitten who enjoys lying on top of a tissue box.

The Lady needed to blow her nose, but the little tissue layer was too cute to move.

Paper shredder

A cat who enjoys shredding paper with his claws.

The Man was going to shred some old bills, but then noticed Bananas, his feline paper shredder, had already taken care of it.

Daily planner
A cat who chooses a human’s course of daily activities.

The Lady wanted to balance her checkbook, but Cheeto, her daily planner, decided she’d snuggle on the sofa and watch movies.

That’s it for this week’s heaping helping of cat slang. I hope you soaked it up and filed it away in the deep recesses of your mind. You wouldn’t want your cats to find it, after all. Please join me next week for another lesson in Fanglish cat slang! I’ll save you a seat.

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