Cat Slang: Cats and Kitchens

Here's the dish on what cats think of our kitchens.

Cats love time spent in the kitchen, usually because there’s some kind of food component involved. In this week’s cat slang lesson, my trusty feline informant shared terms associated with all things cats-and-kitchens. He told me it was quite easy to create this list because kitties spend so much time thinking about food. Not surprised.

As with each week’s Fanglish cat slang lesson, please keep these top-secret terms to between you and me – our cats are always watching, and who knows what would happen if they knew we were hip to their underground language? I don’t want to find out, so let’s just play it safe. Who wants to be on a cat’s bad side? Not me.

With that in mind, here’s this week’s cat slang lesson. Take it all in and then erase your browsing history. Trust me – it’s for the best.

Counter culture
The social norms and values of counter-cruising felines.

The Lady completely destroyed our counter culture when she began putting the butter dish in the pantry.

Buttering up
Licking an open stick of butter.

Lady Fluff heard The Man coming into the kitchen and knew she should jump off the counter, but couldn’t stop buttering up.

Home plate

A human’s plate that contains scraps and lickable spots.

Tiger smelled the gravy on the kitchen table and slid into home plate.

Removed from a counter or table and placed on the floor.

Gus was floored when The Man found him licking the milk out of a cereal bowl.

Kris Krinkle
The generous soul who provides bags of treats to cats.

Boots heard the crinkle of a bag in the kitchen and knew Kris Krinkle had come for a visit.

Dazed and can-fused

The excitement of hearing a can opener, followed by the intense disappointment of realizing a human has opened a can of food for herself.

Lickington stood there, dazed and can-fused, as The Lady opened a can of garbanzo beans.

Swept away
Getting shooed from the kitchen floor while a human is trying to sweep.

Moose was swept away when The Lady grabbed the broom.

Plastic explosive

A kitchen garbage bag that’s loudly popped open.

When The Lady replaced the kitchen garabage bag, LouLou raced away from the plastic explosive.

Crumb topping
A layer of crumbs found on top of the kitchen floor.

After The Lady made dinner, Sebastian always enjoyed a nice crumb topping.

Rainbow fridge

1. The final resting place for toys batted under the refrigerator.
2. The final resting place of expired, partial cans of cat food, hidden behind condiments and leftovers, and elusive to the human, months ago, when she first tried to find them.

Miles was heartbroken when his favorite jingle ball crossed under the rainbow fridge.

When The Lady tackled spring-cleaning, she found the half-eaten cans of turkey and giblets she’d been looking for before Christmas had crossed into the rainbow fridge.

That’s all for now, friends. Come back next week for a brand new Fanglish cat slang lesson!

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