Cats love to party, and when we humans aren’t around, they can really whoop it up! In fact, my feline informant was a little late with this week’s Fanglish delivery because he was hungover from an all-night catnip soiree. Those cats know how to have a good time. Even though he was tardy with his cat-slang lesson, I forgave him because it’s a thorough one, and certainly include terms we humans need to know. Some of these parties are happening in our very own homes while we’re at work or fast asleep! People, we need to pay attention!
On to this week’s cat slang, party-style.
A dripping faucet.
Leonard loved going to Muffin’s parties because there were always at least two open bars.
A party game in which cats race to occupy a single sack.
Peanut called Marshmallow and Bitsy into the kitchen because the sack race was about to begin, and they didn’t want to miss it.
A gathering in which feline guests sample varieties of catnip and cheeses.
Corky received his invitation to the nip and cheese tasting, and hoped there’d be samples of Colorado catnip and American cheese (still in the wrapper, of course).
A party whose sole purpose is to create a space for group napping.
The cats were lined up around the block because they heard Bootsy’s party was going to be a real sleeper.
A shindig that invites cats to bring the ridiculous costumes humans make them wear, and publicly urinate on them in a celebratory manner.
Cosette grabbed the taco costume and drank lots of water because she wanted to have a full bladder for the costume party.
Modeled after the “key parties” made popular by humans in the 1970’s, cats drop their collar into a bowl, choose a random one, and then must bathe the owner of that collar.
Rex hoped he wouldn’t choose Brenda’s collar because her long hair gave him terrible hairballs at the last collar party.
Bring Your Own Box party.
Pancake couldn’t decide between bringing the Nike shoebox or the small Amazon box to Harold’s B.Y.O.B. party.
Wrap Your Crap
Like a White Elephant party, cats arrive with silly gag gifts to exchange with other guests.
Lucy giggled as she opened the beheaded catnip mouse at the Wrap Your Crap party.
Bobbing for Dead Things
A party game in which cats try to eat dead insects floating in a drinking bowl.
Mocha really wanted to win the moth in the Bobbing for Dead Things game, but Felix got to it first.
Bite the Tail Off the Mouse
A popular game in which blindfolded cats take turns trying to bite the tail off an expired mouse.
Everyone at the party knew the only reason Oatmeal won the Bite the Tail Off the Mouse game was because he peeked through his blindfold.
That’s it for now. Come back next week for another Fanglish lesson, and keep these top-secret terms to yourself!