Many humans spend time with their human friends, and cats definitely have opinions about those friends, especially if they’re ones with obnoxious personalities or weird smells. Oh, and if they take up too much of their human’s time, well, there’s a problem. You see, we belong to our cats, and they want to make sure we’re hanging around the right sorts of people … especially ones who travel with pockets full of treats.
This week my little feline informant brings us cat slang terms that are related to the friendships that exist between humans. He says most cats are pretty particular about who associates with their people, and aren’t shy about dishing amongst themselves with underground terms to describe the friendship situations.
And hey – “underground” means these cats don’t want us to know anything about their Fanglish slang. It’s OK. I told my informant you’re the kind of humans who can be trusted to keep this info to yourselves. Don’t make me wrong, people.
Here we go – cat slang all about human friendships.
A cat’s visible excitement when a human’s friend appears at the door bearing treats or gifts.
Mary Sue grew fresh catnip, and when Felix saw her at his front door, his opening act was a showstopper.
A cat’s visible excitement when a human’s friend who doesn’t bear gifts or treats ends their visit.
As soon as Felix saw Dolores pull down the driveway, he entertained The Lady with a closing act.
Walking past a human’s friend and deciding whether or not he or she is likable.
The Man’s new friend sat on the sofa with a catnip mouse in hand, and Mitzy soon passed judgment.
Dinner and a show
The act of cleaning one’s rear area in full view of a human’s dinner party guests.
The Lady was embarrassed when Marty’s dinner and a show distracted her guests from their flank steak.
A human and his or her friend who annoy cats by singing loudly (and badly) to the radio.
Graypaw couldn’t sleep because of all the ham radio happening in the living room.
A human’s Twitter friend.
Snowflake wanted a snack, but The Lady was busy chatting with her newest twit.
Friends with whom a human texts.
The Man snuggled with Patches while he chatted with one of his phony friends.
A Skype-style hangout between two humans.
During The Lady’s private screening with her mother, she continued to pick Peaches up and show her to the camera.
What the smell?!
A cat’s exclamatory thought when he or she smells another animal on a human’s friend’s clothing.
When The Man’s friend Pete stopped over for coffee, Pancake smelled his coat and thought, “What the smell?!”
The intense facial expression a human wears while playing an online game with a friend.
Oreo saw The Lady’s game face and immediately knew dinner might be a little late.
Please join us again next week for a new list of terms! I can h