A Few of Cats’ Favorite Things About the Holidays

Please enjoy this holiday-themed cat-slang lesson.

The holidays are here, and no one is happier than cats. First on all, there’s a tree in the house. That alone is pure cat heaven. On top of that, there are piles of extra food that happen during festive gatherings, gifts wrapped with paper and tape, and stockings full of goodies! We humans aren’t the only ones who like to get their Ho-Ho-Ho on.

My feline informant was excited to bring me this week’s cat slang lesson because he’s a giant fan of Christmas and everything that comes along with it. His humans are sloppy tree decorators, so he gets to bat lots of ornaments. He told me it never, ever gets old. I believe him.

As usual, I’m passing this top-secret list of cat slang words on to you because I trust you won’t share your knowledge with the cats in your home. I know it’s the holiday season and all, but felines are still serious about their Fanglish language. No humans allowed!
With that in mind, please enjoy this holiday-themed cat-slang lesson. Oh, and my informant wants me to remind you to fill your cats’ stockings extra full this year. He promises they’ve all been pretty nice … and only a tiny bit naughty. Just a tiny bit.

Branch off
Bat a low-hanging ornament off a Christmas tree.

Bootsy stopped chasing her catnip rat and decided to branch off when she saw the dangling Stormtrooper ornament.


The heavenly bliss a cat feels when a Christmas tree is inside their house.

Little Kitty burrowed under the tree skirt, completely consumed by firvana.

Kitchen collection

The assortment of holiday goodies cats find on the kitchen floor.

When Marshmallow woke up from her nap, Nemo showed her his kitchen collection, whish included two pieces of turkey.

12 preys of Christmas

The 12 (or more) holiday items a cat stalks during the season.

Sampson started his 12 preys of Christmas with a stuffed elf that was loosely attached to a gift.


A cat’s happiness when finding a gift-wrapping human.

Milton’s wrapsody was overwhelming when he saw The Lady grab the rolls of holiday paper.

Stocking up
Exploring a stocking full of presents for a cat.

The Man showed Eggo his stocking, and the cat immediately began stocking up.

Mrs. Claws
A female cat who bares her claws at relatives who try to hold her at holiday gatherings.

The Lady’s aunt attempted a lengthy snuggle with Muffin, but the cat turned into Mrs. Claws.

Boxy lady
A female who delivers boxes to a cat’s home.

Hamilton saw the big brown truck park in front of his house and knew the boxy lady would soon appear.

Skirting the issue
Playing around and under a Chistmas tree skirt.

The Lady looked for Peaches and Phantom, and found them skirting the issue.

Licker tape parade
Cats running with mouthfuls of tape they’ve stolen from wrapped gifts.

The Man heard a ruckus coming from the Christmas tree, and then saw the licker tape parade run up the stairs.

That’s it for now. Come back next week for another Fanglish lesson, and keep these top-secret terms to yourself!

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