10 Ways Cats Could Help Around the House

Cleaning under the furniture, screening calls, empyting the frickin' litterboxes -- cats sure could help with the housework.

Let’s face it: cats are a little (a lot) on the lazy side. I think it’s time they earned their keep! I can think of several household tasks I’d enjoy delegating to my kitties. Whether they’d be qualified for the work, or follow through on the jobs is probably another story. Still, I can dream.

Here are the top 10 household tasks I’d like to hand over to my cats.

10. Retrieving the mail
I know it’s a lazy request, but – especially in the winter – I dread walking to the end of the driveway to pick up my mail. And it’s not even a super long driveway. I told you it’s a lazy request! I’d love to see one of my cats in a parka and some snow boots. Maybe that’s the real reason for the request.

9.  Cleaning under the furniture
I’m not one who regularly moves their furniture to vacuum the carpet. Are you? Well, goody for you, then. Most of the time I only lift or move furniture to collect wayward cat toys and other miscellaneous swatted items. I think my cats wish I’d rescue their treasures more often, so perhaps I should task them with moving the furniture. And while they’re under there, they can run a quick vacuum. Yeah!

8. Making phone calls
I’m a texting girl – talking on the phone is not one of my preferred activities. In fact, I kinda avoid it.  Granted, there are a few people I enjoy chatting it up with, but that number is small. I think it’d be pretty cool if my cat would screen my calls and take care of the ones I don’t want to handle. My Phoebe is a chatty one — I think she’d be outstanding.

7. Grocery shopping
There are people who look forward to walking the aisles of the grocery store, comparing prices and reading labels. Friends, I am not one of those people. In fact I just sent my teenage son to the grocery store to do my dirty work. I have a feeling he’ll spend about half the money on chips and sugary cereal, but I guess that’s the chance I take, right?

I’d love to send one of my cats to the grocery store. If I did, though, I fear he’d stray from my list even worse than my son would. Jars of gravy, check! Case of toilet paper, check! Blocks of cheese, check! Maybe I should rethink this one.

6.  Folding laundry
Um, this would never work.  Still, I’d love to pawn it off on someone.

5. Making snacks for me

Sometimes when I’m watching a movie, I’d enjoy a snack and perhaps a refreshing beverage. Occasionally I don’t feel like hauling my butt off the sofa to whip up a tasty treat. If I could trust a cat with my food prep, I’d love to place my order. Most likely, the food would never make it to the sofa.

4. Feeding themselves
Oh, yeah. Imagine the prospect of sleeping in while the cats feed themselves the proper amounts of food, and don’t steal each other’s meals. That’s a dream come true.

3. Creating budget and paying bills
Let’s just say math is not one of my more illustrious gifts. How sweet would it be to hand off budgeting and bill paying to a cat with mad accounting skills? I’d, of course, have to look past the inflated expenses dedicated to PetSmart purchases.

2. Scooping litterboxes
Yes! Finally an opportunity to hand the scoop to the one who poops!

And the No. 1 household task I’d like to hand over to my cats is … drumroll, please!

1. Cleaning the bathroom
Hands down, this is my least favorite chore. I mean, who likes cleaning toilets and scrubbing tubs? I’d rather fold laundry all day long. The bathroom is perhaps the cats’ favorite room in the entire house, so I think it’s a natural choice to put a toilet scrubber in their paws and put them to work!

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