10 Reasons Why Cats Make Terrible Employees

They'd boss everyone around, they'd clean their private areas in public, they'd hide. Cats would be terrible to manage at work for many reasons. Here are the top 10.

Saying cats are lazy little fuzzbutts would be quite an understatement. They nap most of the day, and when they’re not sleeping, they’re planning their next grand snooze. Because kitties are known for their incessant sleepiness, they probably wouldn’t last a day as employees … in any type of job. Except maybe if there were a full-time position in being cute — they’d be kazillionnaires. I mean, who’s better than cats in that department? I have no answer. None.

Although no one could deny their impossibly adorable nature, here are the top 10 reasons cats would make pretty terrible employees.

10. They’d refuse to wear uniforms
Most cats aren’t all that keen on wearing clothing of any kind. If a job required a uniform, a cat would rather be fired than suit up – even if the uniforms were comfortable and required no ironing.

9. They’d be bossy

Cats like things to go their way, and aren’t shy about letting others know their point of view. Let’s face it: they’re way better bosses than employees … and they’ll be the first ones to let us know.

8. They’d hide

Kitties are apt to hide, which is totally bad for business. Studies show that companies that would hire cats would be 99.9% more likely to go out of business within one week of opening their doors. So many cats on unemployment. Such a bad situation for everyone concerned.

7. They’d bathe themselves (and others) in public

Who wants to go to work and see employees licking their rears? How about offering their bathing services to others? Who wants to be a cubicle mate with workers like these? Cats would spend a lot of time in Human Resources.

6. They wouldn’t listen
They don’t want to follow rules. They’d hear their boss asking them to do something, but respond with only a single cocked ear or flick of the tail. No raise for you, Mr. Cupcake!

5. They’d end their shift at their leisure

Cats are on nobody’s schedule. That is all.

4. They’d start their shift at their leisure

Cats are on nobody’s schedule. That is all.

3. They’d take constant breaks
Perhaps their entire shift could be considered a “break.” Yeah, that’s probably more like it — one long break. A cat is a walking, fuzzy little break room.

2. They’d be easily distracted
It’d be a real challenge for a cat to stay focused on a project long enough to follow it to completion. The distraction of paper clips, pen caps, and wadded balls of paper would be way too much for a feline employee to handle. And if a printer suddenly started spitting paper? Forget about it!

And the No. 1 reason cats would make terrible employees is … drumroll, please!

1. They’d sleep on the job
Most employers don’t appreciate workers snoozing while on the clock. Do you really think cats could pull off a nap-free shift? That feat would be a definite impossibility.

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